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I want to slowly damage each part of my pathetically

  • I want to slowly damage each part of my pathetically lifeless body, savouring the sweet taste of each beautiful fragment of annihilation, in every tiny cell of my useless body.
  • My name is John Madden. I want to destroy my pointless body inch by inch. That's what this paint chipper is for. Painted Raiders colors, of course.
  • After two or three coats of paint I will dress in a bright orange suit and round around the outside of a maximum security prison yelling "I'm Free! I'm free!"
  • "Alright Willy, back you go" said the security guard as he grabbed me. Which was weird as my name is Dick, but my willy was hanging out through the fly of my orange jump suit.
  • So the security guard did what any good mall cop would, he grabbed my willy and I was forced to the ground. The mall cop stood over me grinning madly as he put me back in cuffs,
  • "You're enjoying this aren't you? Well call me when you get off and bring your cuffs." I said with a wink. His grip on my willy only got firmer as the mall cop tightened my cuffs.
  • Drool ran from the mall cop's mouth. "Oh Willy, you only look hotter when you are struggling!" He said in a seduced voice. "Yeahh" I groaned. Then, two young boys walked by and
  • and the mall cop bolted. He didn't need another mark on his record. The only problem was what if someone found Willy with his willy you know in that spot the place where he
  • placed, you know...that spot...with his willy. If the Head Mall Cop found out about it, he'd have to go back to scrubbing the mall toilets. The thought of it gave him the willies.
  • Will Will wlll his willy into Willy's Nilly? Will Off. Willy willingly will Nilly to Will? Will Nilly willingly submit to Wills will? "Where there's a Will there's a way" says Will

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