They were gone, all of them. I came home,

They were gone, all of them. I came home, and they were gone.

I didn't know what to do, no one can find those pictures it will destroy me and my

reputation as Mayor of SuperCity10. What would my wife think? My dear little son! Well, actually Tom is thirty and living in our Attica but whatever, he cannot see those pictures!

I knew I never should have donned those big boy pants. My father told me I loved to flirt with disaster but I didn't believe him. Now I was engaged to her. My wife and kids are not

even happy with me. I'm not even sure the kids are mine to be honest. My wife disappears at all hours with random odd jobs but I don't really want to know if there's someone else.

Nor do I really care. I happen to love these kids, freaky though they may be, and whether or not they are mine. When little James looks at me with his three eyes and calls me "Dada

" it fills all eighteen chambers of my heart with joy. And so what if he only has three eyes? I've seen veterans get along just fine with four. We barely use infrared anyway.

in fact as a type III civilization we prefer using gamma rays for everything from cleaning our many appendages to interstellar harmonic propulsion. "Come, I will show you where we

keep them." The alien walked over to an appliance and opened the door. Sure enough, on one of the shelves was a box of Safeway Select Gamma Rays, well past their expiration date.

"I guess we can't eat these anymore," the disappointed alien said. "I was really looking forward to these." He turned back to the door, closed it, and began to quietly cry.