This is the story of Tom. Tom was a simple

This is the story of Tom. Tom was a simple man. Tom was a good man. He lived his life as an ideal example for others. Everyone loved Tom. Everyone except for that vile

Tom hating Antihero Mot. Mostly he was jealous of Tom for having such a generic name. Tom played his tom toms in a band with Dick & Harry & married Jane. Mot hated Toms sanctimon

ious bon-mots. Tom watched Thomas the Tank engine while Mot (anti-tom) got tanked engineering his revenge. Mot momenteum momentarily tormented Tom's train of thought.

Sally Struthers sent support, saddlebags and all. Thomas the Tank Engine showed his appreciation by

smiling the same sh*t-eating grin that he always wore, day after perfect day. Then one day a troublemaking philosophy student asked Thomas "Haven't you ever heard of free will?"

"Yes of course I've heard of free will," said Smiling Thomas to the philosophy student. "You have no idea how many choices I've made in the last few seconds, and you should thank

-lessly stab your mother for giving birth to you because you are such a terribly depressed philosophy student. Smiling Thomas then gave Debbie Downer an "F." But Debbie had

already made her way to the cemetry, where she silently opened the old wrought-iron gate. As she stepped carefully into the graveyard, a fearfull apparation appeared holding a

Scream mask to its face. When it took it away, it had more of Munch Scream face. 'Ironic comment,' the ghoul explained, but in doing so stopped screaming and to some extent ruined

the element of surprise. So I punched him in the face, again and again, and I didn't stop fucking punching until he no longer moved again. Then I started kicking him.