An alliteratively-named celebrity was having

  • An alliteratively-named celebrity was having violent sex one day after consuming mass quantities of food and drugs. Many animals
  • enjoyed. She was. He didn't. Too bad. I'm going. Be good. Not you. Me too. Loving animals. Yes, her. She did. Not softly. That's all. She's celebrity. Rich blood. To
  • -night is staccato night. At the Olive. Garden. The endless bread. Sticks. Were not enough. So we decided. To sell pasta. Rhythmically. Thursday night is
  • nospacesnight.Everythingwasputintoabigbowlatthecenterofthetabletobeeatenwithbigwoodenspoons. Olive Garden enjoyed lexicologic themes. Friday night was every vowel missing
  • night, so they served Lynyrd Skynyrds twyndyllyng pygmy wyrms & myrrh. Next their creative consultant Christian Bök wanted to cook his way through a complete course of hyphenated
  • meat. Squirrel-meat-kabobs. Salamander-meat-terriaki. Turtle-dove-pop-pie. "Home Cooking" was going to be the best
  • and the cheapest, ever after the superhighway was built alongside the forest lake next to our house. Martha complained about the flattened shapes, but my salamander pancake recipe
  • placated her. I'd never shared that recipe with anyone before. It was a family secret. I realized my mistake. Now I would have to marry ol' Martha to keep it in the family. Dammit!
  • I turned to Martha. "Will you marry me?" I asked, unenthusiastically. "YES!" squealed Martha. Ah, the secret family recipe would be safe. Just to make sure Martha would never blab,
  • I made her sign a highly detailed nondisclosure agreement that stated she would forfeit the right to all of the millions that recipe would bring in, and lose her half her tongue.


  1. SlimWhitman May 27 2015 @ 03:50

    Did someone say Squirrel-on-a-stick? http://foldingstory.com/8rll4/yepgwn/

  2. grok May 27 2015 @ 17:42

    Shhh! With prior art, you forfeit the right to all those millions...

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