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1. "When you assume you make an ass out of

  • 1. "When you assume you make an ass out of you and me."
  • 2. "When you make me play for every single meal!"
  • 3. "When you swing dance to Led Zepplin's Dazed and Confused."
  • 4. When your voice cracks along to the Stones' "Gimme Shelter".
  • 5. Getting splashed from head to toe in snow melt from a passing ambulance.
  • 6. Coming back to my senses in chains, dangling over the East River in a strong wind, for something I hadn't done, but looking guilty as hell for other things I actually had done.
  • The stiff breeze felt cold against my pantless legs. What a sour execution--it'd all start to become clear to me: The nipple tassels, the snug cheetah-print banana hammock, somehow
  • the gifts in the work Xmas hamper seemed a little more unusual than last year. I stood on the balcony of the hotel where the Xmas function was being held and looked over the edge
  • and was gobsmacked by how weird the word "edge" really was. I spoke slow, "Ed-juh." "Eeeeed-jeeeeeh." Bizarre. I got sonic vertigo and fell off the balcony right into a platt
  • er of crab rangoons. The native Inuit family, horrified, called the police and I was apprehended shortly thererafter. Locked away in the icy prison of Calcatraz, this is how I die.
Started
2012-12-22 11:32:12
Finished
2013-02-18 21:01:46

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Feb 19 2013 @ 05:01

    At least your death 'sentence' was parlayed into a life 'sentence' in Calcatraz.

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