Hilarious dialogue + Zany interlude / Sexual

Hilarious dialogue + Zany interlude / Sexual innuendo (Blatant intercourse) - Blurring the lines * Picking up the spare = X. Ex-girlfriend's parents + financial opportunity = Y.
No, that's not Y. That's WHY. I suck at math, but I do know WHY I am suing my ex-girlfriend's parents. Yeah, she & I laughed, had sex, blurred the lines, & changed a tire, but we
blurred the lines some more and had sex while changing the tyre and that's when it happened. The monkey wrench. I'm suing her parents, I'm gonna bleed them dry. It's... inoperable
and out of kilter. I have to enter doorways sideways and get confused while driving, Your Honor. If you'll pardon the expression, I had to "jury rig" my tool with a metric sprocket
The judge stifled a yawn; the bailiff turned me in a complete circle and had me lift first one foot, then the other, then the last foot, as if to demonstrate the truth of my plea.
I said, "Can I get a bowl of split plea soup?" I actually slapped my knee. The bailiff bared his teeth. He'd written "Shut Up" on his front teeth
and I etched "Make Me" on my golden grills. Insubordination was my bling, my high fashion. I'd written "I do what I want" with lamb's blood on my coypu shawl. The bailiff gnashed
His teeth until they became bear mush. He had been folding stories all day and never stopped laughing. The jury was relieved to be able to fold stories with him. Case settled.
The jury went home and had bear mush for dinner, all except Little Red Riding Hood, who never touched the stuff after her "incident". He spent his final days in prison, his family
tweeting him dank memes and IT support for his crappy laptop. I think we can all agree, the morel of the story was the eel.

Started: 2013-03-28 02:15:54
Finished: 2016-08-03 14:29:10

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