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"What a life I had" exclaimed the old man

  • "What a life I had" exclaimed the old man sitting in his front porch. Unbeknown to the fact that his life was far from finished, as an invasion of Frenchmen was taking place a few
  • miles farther up the coast. Why the old man ever decided to retire in Portugal we will probably never discover in this story line. But The French invasion and the old man were tied
  • in a dead heat for complete impotence. A French invasion is like a boneless limb, yeah there's muscle in there but it can't move. And the Old Man, he was a greeter at Walmart
  • 's self-checkout section. Walmart had been replacing cashiers with greeters ever since the Great Register Robbery of '92, in which a cashier made off with Yorks, a roll of dimes, &
  • THE MAN IN THE BACK SAID "EVERONE ATTACK", AND IT TURNED INTO A BALLROOM BLITZ!!! AND THE
  • y used "ALL CAPS" which made them SNAP as they danced to the BALLROOM BLITZ!!! And the girl in the corner said it was FRIGHTENING and his teeth needed WHITENING! Oh yea yea yeah!
  • So she used her toothbrush which was ELECTRIC, and the brushing was FRIGHTFULLY HECTIC and the foam started SEETHING and he suddenly stopped BREATHING! Oh yeah
  • yeah yeah yeah! And the man in the back said EVERYONE ATTACK! And it turned into a bathroom blitz. And all the little chicks with the crimson lips were all "Cleveland
  • is the name of the Beav's fantasy camp." Alpha Male poured beer on every chick, but realized they were infantile hens, not human women, so he did what he always did: got violent.
  • Once he got violent, no one were safe anymore. Slaps and punchings were spread everywhere. And this is how this story ends... THE END
Started
2011-05-07 23:13:48
Finished
2012-05-02 05:03:19

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Zetawilk May 02 2012 @ 15:04

    Alpha Male: a force to be reckoned with.

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