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I will lead you to the two dozen most important

  • I will lead you to the two dozen most important practices. It involves a villa, linen envelopes, a screen door sprayed with PAM, and three Albanian
  • merchants specializing in the sale of letters carried by the Pony Express. But what sets us apart from the various other practitioners utilizing these common ingredients is that we
  • guarantee that authentic pony manure smell on every letter you receive. Unlike some other less reputable "Poney Express" carriers, our packages travel all the way on the back of
  • a carriage pulled by real, live ponies. No half-assed, if you'll excuse the expression, horses, mules, or donkeys. Your letters and packages are guaranteed to be delivered on time.
  • "Hey, Grandpa, get off the road!" A young punk on a moped yelled. As much as he appreciated the town's pull to return to rustic customs, this was just ridiculous. Mail by horse was
  • Dreadfully slow but more dependable than the post office much of the time. This was four years after the postal service switched back to pigeons.
  • Postal pigeons, though slow, were reliable- for the most part. However, hunting had taken its toll. The committee needed a solution. "Dragons," he concluded. "Mail dragons."
  • A fleet of mail dragons was dispatched that very afternoon. They did a good job, but people still complained. It was all "My catalogue is singed" and "All the maidens in town have
  • lost all there hair in all the wrong places. You can never seem to find happiness anywhere. No matter what, people are going to complain.
  • So if Doc says you've only got a month to live, or if your mother-in-law moves in for good, remember to put things in their proper perspective. You could have been bald!

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