37

Yesterday Tom graduated from the city's grueling

  • Yesterday Tom graduated from the city's grueling 13 week Street Sweeper boot camp. In a couple of hours he will carry his new broom & dustpan to take his place on the frontlines.
  • He was surprised to learn that part of his duties as a street sweeper included fighting zombies with his specially constructed broom & dustpan. This explain why there are so few
  • Zombie exterminators who are street sweepers anywhere in the world. Russia was one rare exception,and the result was that their zombie population was close to zero. Their enemies
  • loved this because Zombies have been conscripted as a secret defensive army. The only drawback is keeping them fed. Most places feed them death row prisoners but Russia
  • decided to hand over control of their country to the zombies after all the most senior officials in president Putin's government were bitten in a freak accident.
  • Oddly, no one was that surprised when it was revealed fifty years later that the zombies were in fact developed and financed under Putin's command. He got bitten way back in '72.
  • Luckily for the Russians, the zombie virus didn't cause the President's manly chest to atrophy, even as the rest of his shambling corpse continued to rot. It was too powerful.
  • But in Soviet Russia virus doesn't infect you, you infect virus. And so, instead of creating zombies, the virus mutated to infect people with russian speach and liking vodka.
  • Once these people went back into the world, they started spreading the virus. When people were surprised by their Russian accent, they discovered that they too had such and accent
  • . "Good lord, darlink, we sound like Boris and Natasha," remarked Aunt Mildred. "Plus, you've started putting vodka in our gin and tonics," complained Uncle Ed, but not for long.
Started
2017-01-03 03:19:39
Finished
2018-07-07 12:20:46

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Jul 07 2018 @ 12:23

    Hey Lelnope! I musta picked up on your vodka vibe!
  2. Avatar

    Lelnope Jul 07 2018 @ 14:33

    pfff go stereotypes! :D
  3. Avatar

    Woab Jul 10 2018 @ 17:16

    Naw, I think I smelled it on someone's breath.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!