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As I plan to end my own life, I learn many

  • As I plan to end my own life, I learn many things. How swallowing razorblades won't hurt as much as you think, how overdosing does little damage, and how to tie a noose.
  • I was never good at tying my shoes, let alone a noose. Thats why I still wear those Velcro shoes, theyre really comfy, but damn they are ugly. I don't want to die wearing ugly shoe
  • s. I better spend the last of my money on a new pair. Maybe I could hang myself with the laces. What's the point in hanging myself anyway. Money won't matter if I'm dead, so I
  • didn't do it because, frankly, money does mean a lot to me.Truth be told, I'd sell my soul to the devil for fifty cents. Why, money makes the world go 'round! And I want it ALL.
  • This was how Scrooge McDuck got when he was drunk. His nephews were used to it. Soon Uncle Scrooge would bring out Wealth of Nations, then black out and try to cook a grilled chees
  • e in a toaster. The resulting mess would elicit a string of vulgar profanities and quite possibly a thrown chair or two. Then Scrooge McDuck would inevitably calm down and take
  • Another glass of mango juice. The turbaned waiter was quite adamant he would like it. And he did. Millions of mangos stood on the table telling him, be careful what you wish for.
  • Could millions of mangos be wrong? Well, these were. "I'm not listening to the advice of a bunch of fruits!" the customer scoffed rudely, sending the turbaned waiter's tray across
  • the room. The assembled mangoes wailed as the waiter rolled up his sleeves, preparing to fight for the honour of his fruity friends. There was no time to lose!
  • The brave mangoes charged forward and struck as one. Ordinary fruit would stand little chance to win, but with their vast numbers and training, in the end they emerged victorious.
Started
2013-01-13 09:14:27
Finished
2016-12-08 02:18:09

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