I slammed the giant bird down on the table
- I slammed the giant bird down on the table & said "FINE! Then you eat it." With that, I twisted the top off a giant jug of chardonnay & headed into the backyard. This Thanksgiving
- I decided to dont give a s---, I have realized that thanksgiving, along with christmas, easter, valentines day, and all other capitalist fascist holidays are nothing more than
- days on a calendar, that help me remember what time of year it is. Of course I could look out the window and see the change in the environment but that would be too easy. I am lazy
- and super hot. Being totally unmotivated but extremely attractive has allowed me to climb to the
- top of the toll booth totem poll. I was the only toll collector ever to receive a tip with a toll, and it was actually a common occurrence. The boss built a booth in front of mine
- to conduct toll booth customer service surveys to discover my secret. But I knew that my toll booth talents were a gift from the Lord above. No one could duplicate my hypnotizing
- flashy things. I knew how and when to push all the right buttons. A steady stream of drivers lined up every day just to pass by my tollbooth and gaze upon my impressive signage.
- Little children in the backs of station wagons gazed up at me in awe, hoping that someday they might be a tollbooth operator, too. My register was filled with quarters, dollars,
- and assorted other coinage catching their eye. I shined by tollbooth "Worker of the Month" badge & adjusted my cap smartly.Then a van full of kids threw bubblegum in my coin hopper
- And threw it back at them seconds later, as trajectories making gorilla sounds. That said, I drove home and cooked rabbit stew whilst the CNN talking heads exploded one at a time.
- Started
- 2012-11-19 13:48:21
- Finished
- 2016-07-20 17:12:40
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