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I went to the store and bought a pop. when

  • I went to the store and bought a pop. when I got there it was cold.
  • I didn't know what to do.
  • So I ran home and holed myself up in my Closet of Solitude to mull over my current predicament. I could either stay where I was or face my problem. Staying where I was sounded
  • perfect but peeing through a straw and eating crumbs might be problematic. So I called Hugo, the Italian. He would help me solve face my problem. He was a member of the
  • Sausage Boyz. A low level Italian gang from Ohio. Hugo the Italian never picked up his phone. I was up shit creek without a cannoli. I hope Slick Rick answers.
  • He does. "Slick Rick 'n' Tricky Dick's Sausage Emporium. How can I help you?" "I'd like a sausage and pepperoni hero with extra cheese...Hold the sausage."
  • "Okay. I'm holding the sausage. Now what?" said a deep goofy voice. "I'm speaking metaphorically," I told him. "Just give me the Slick Rick 'n' Tricky Dick special club...
  • sandwich. The SANDWICH, you goofy dufus!" Hurriedly, I wiped my hand before extending it again. "With mayonaisse?" the voice asked. I hesitated. I was feeling vulnerable now.
  • Then the voice said he would pay in obelisks. That was his local currency on planet X. The invocable hand did the currency conversion. The extended mouth took it all in one bite.
  • And to cap it off a completely different set of arms appeared to wipe the corners of their resting pose mouths with a lace doily. Several Important Persons were impressed. -Fin-

2 Comments

  1. Rebbie Feb 08 2017 @ 18:42

    Apparently you can send aliens running for their closet simply by serving them cold pop! I better stock up on that right now.

  2. LordVacuity Feb 08 2017 @ 18:48

    Remember, if they are from Mars they also do not like Slim Whitman.

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