It was a dark and stormy night

It was a dark and stormy night
...naw, let me start over. It was a bright and sunlit night. Both the moon and the sun were in the sky, as sometimes happens. Geekers the Nerdy Clown was studying his algebra. His
geekier step-sister, Albina, was making water balloons with Trojan Lubricated Magnums. His Mother was watching her undies tumble in her new front-loading dryer, and his dad was
cooking pickled pigs feet in the old wash basin in the back yard.Everyone heard what was going on at my place and invited themselves over for the front loading washer party.
I was a good host, and didn't complain when my guests ate all of the food I had in the pantry, although I felt like punching their lights out whenever they complained.
Although I never was any good at fighting. At school they used to call me the Greek Mayweather. A cruel, sarcastic taunt
Until the most popular girl at school made a Piranha plant cake
There was no Wikipedia entry for it to be found. She made millions from the recipe. She had her own show on the food channel.
But it all went sour in the ill-advised live Christmas Special of '98, when tens of food network viewers learned of her habitual racist rants. Without her editors, she was ruined.

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