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My hands hurt. My back ached. Hell, everything

  • My hands hurt. My back ached. Hell, everything hurt or ached. Working in the mines was at the unfortunate center of the Pain - Suffering - Hopelessness Venn diagram.
  • But there was enough salt. Needed to make some ice cream? Just chip a handful from that stalagmite. And in spite of everything, At least I wasn't working in a Chilean pepper mine.
  • Just one sneeze could leave everyone caved in. My boss tapped my shoulder. "Boy, you've been promoted to the Transylvanian garlic mines. No más salt with deadly weapons for you."
  • Phew! At least he didn't say 'no hay más pantaloons', to me, like he did at the last Christmas party...can you say awkward? I was excited to start my new promotion, and I loved
  • the way my co-workers trained a family of squirrels and other woodland creatures to come into my new office and clean it for the start of my new role at the company as
  • the new innovation leader of the keebler cookies. And to think I was worried that I wouldn't fit it... well obviously I wouldn't physically fit in the tree house, but my new office
  • was still large enough to store the new cookies. Which consisted of PGPR, a new additive that replaces expensive cocoa butter. I used to love Hershey's until I saw that in there.
  • But then I found out that PGPR wasn't really all it had been cracked up to be. Now I think of myself as a born-again Nutella enthusiast. Because everyone knows
  • that Nutella can go on bagels, toast or as pretzel dip--wait. This is becoming an advertisement. Maybe that was the PGPR's game. Making me advertise things for free, unawares.
  • PGPR is a yellow,viscous liquid of polyglycerol esters from polycondensed fatty acids of castor oil used as cheap substitute for cocoa butter. I feel absolved of my commercial sins
Started
2012-08-29 18:10:10
Finished
2012-09-01 09:44:29

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Chaz Sep 01 2012 @ 09:47

    FoldingStory is very educational.
  2. Avatar

    Zetawilk Sep 01 2012 @ 14:47

    Yes it is! I feel like I have learned something with every completed story. I admit the lesson is usually abstract.

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