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Can you hear me at the back? Right, I'm going

  • Can you hear me at the back? Right, I'm going to start this motivational talk by telling you an anecdote about my dog and there isn't the tiniest thing you can do to stop me.
  • How many of you have dogs? Good! I see we have several dog-lovers in the audience! Let's hear it for the dog lovers [applause, whistles]. My dog, Waffles, saved my life last year.
  • A kid in the crowd suddenly shot up and shouted, "I love waffles!!" "Good, sonny. That's ... really good. Now shut up ... As I was saying, my dog Waffles and I were hiking through
  • Maple Wood. Waffles barked as he'd found the best tree for fresh sap. I tapped the bark & collected a handful of the amber-colored goop. Spreading some on his ears, I took a bite
  • . Crunchy maply scrumptiousness. I ate up Waffles & licked my lips. Delicious. What's that? How could I eat my maple hound? You want a sappy story with a happy end? Waffles litter
  • is what the Belgians used for their cats. They fed their cats lots of maple syrup and then when cat used the waffle litter, breakfast was served.
  • By the twenty-second century, Belgian catwaffles were a popular delicacy around the world. By the twenty-third, it was all anyone ever ate. This caused serious
  • problems with the world order! The waffles themselves starting taking over the world little by little, slowly moving in for world domination. Humanities only hope was
  • to drown them in maple syrup. Selfless maple trees from all over the world donated their precious trunk juice to have it poured onto the waffles. Leggo my eggo you son of a bitch!

1 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Dec 07 2014 @ 02:29

    That's quite a motivational story. Sign me up for a case of Belgian Catwaffles.

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