31

Smith looked at Gary and winked the kind

  • Smith looked at Gary and winked the kind of wink that wonks give monks and hacks give hackers. "you ever seen a crime kid?" he growled. "Not since interpol raided my moms place and
  • found her nitroglycerin pantyhose." Smith was shocked in the shack. He wanted to know about this MILF of mortar but he had to
  • defuse the detonator strapped to the defibrillator before Dwight killed them all trying to impress the MILF. The Red Cross was really trying to jazz up these mandatory first aid
  • courses with real life situations, so I decided to one up them and pulled out my ceramic Glock and dispatched them one by one starting with Dwight. Let's see him CPR his way out of
  • this egg. Not apparent to me was that this CPR class was filled with daywalkers. Yes, the gun was ceramic and had "cop killer" bullets, but these vampires healed quickly. Dwight
  • realised this fast. He screamed as they grabbed him, and sucked out all his blood. The latter part is mostly supposition, because I realised then I didn't like Dwight that much,
  • Dwight is probably an empty corpse wandering the streets. But it doesn't matter to me since he unfriended me on Facebook. He also reneged on helping me move. Like I would care.
  • I set up a Facebook account for "Barry Wellen Dowd," a prime hunk of man, and declared us as "In a Relationship." His first status: "I love my girl like I love jacking lumber." We
  • hit a snag in our relationship when I set my status to "Like a dead car, our relationship is lacking jumber." Well, my automotives job was only at a Wal-Mart. All the toothless
  • hillbillies in the world couldn't have held me back from my true love: extreme naked water-skiing. I quickly left the house after logging out of Facebook, and I never looked back.
Started
2011-02-22 22:57:51
Finished
2012-03-27 22:28:01

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Mar 28 2012 @ 15:13

    I sense a potential pun somewhere in there between lumber and logging...
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Mar 28 2012 @ 18:35

    I mean log out...

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