"It would only take 30 - 40 minutes tops

  • "It would only take 30 - 40 minutes tops to break into it, " I thought to myself... Charlie Tuna, why do you do this to me every time?? The pouches are ok, but the cans are soooo
  • much more utilitarian. Once all the tuna is eaten, I enjoy saving the cans and building a tuna-can robot army that will assist in my plans to
  • Remove the Chinese language. It just annoyed me. Too hard. Purple hair! That was the answer to the great problem, to the
  • handymen at least. It was always purple hair that clogged the drain in the bathroom at Nappy Nina's Hair Cutlery. This Chinese cab driver was no help in giving directions, so I lea
  • ned forward and tried to make out the Chinese street signs. Dusty pig street, that's it! I sighed with relief, then tried to remember if the word 'pig' had three horizontal strokes
  • . Turned out I was all wrong, I was in Ditsy Pug Street. I missed the drop and was alone with Mossad on my tail. I had to shake them. I ducked into a tiny wig shop, pulled on a hug
  • gy bear getup and got my pimp hand workin. Wasn't easy, but it was necessary. The heat from the Mossad agents died down, but I knew they'd never stop looking for me. My stable of
  • animal disguises needed updating. I also needed some way to control my pimp hand, which was becoming more of a detriment than an asset. If I dressed as a sugar glider, the Mossad
  • would worship me for the sugar glider God that everyone else knew me to be, but for some reason the Mossad did not take the furry world very seriously and that was a big mistake
  • for stuffed into my mammalian pouch were poem bombs. Hundreds of haikus that would detonate, spilling wisdom onto the masses. Israel bathed in poetry: glory is mine. Allah Akbar.


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