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Why?Why did it always have to be BOTH. Diet

  • Why?Why did it always have to be BOTH. Diet AND exercise. Black AND blue. Up AND down. In the name of all that is good & right & holy in this godforsaken land of pain AND suffering
  • which was a place called Minnesota. There "diet and exercise" was basically walking to the donut shop. Why Minnesota has really milky fresh
  • coffee cream is because of the excellent way they treat their cows. Anyone caught cow tipping is immediately thrown into the slammer. Coffee and donuts are serious business here.
  • One year, however, the price for doughnuts and coffee skyrocketed, leading to massive rates of depression and an increased frequency of alcoholism. Then the cows stepped in to
  • do their part. Scientist worked around the clock to develop bovines that gave lattes and mochas. Problems occurred when the cattle became over caffeinated.
  • When this happened, the cows would rally and rage against their constraints, each one full of the energy of a charging bull. One of the new caffeine farms reported having several
  • caffeine overdoses! This was rare for caffeine farms to have, so the reporters were now crowding around the owners like seagulls would go after crumbs of bread, they decided to
  • Follow the quahog's example and cross the road. Quahogs had their own road crossing signs, "Quahogs crossing". Mr. Quahog said, "Follow us!" as he crossed the road. They made it!
  • They're well organized in road crossing,those Quahogs.I've seen whole families make it across busy interstate highways & major thoroughfares without a scratch,Quashogs on the other
  • hand organize themselves so that the most elderly of the herd step across the road 1st.This way,the most useless of the herd sacrifice themselves as roadkill so the rest can cross.
Started
2012-05-21 16:58:17
Finished
2016-05-01 18:20:54

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Magic May 01 2016 @ 18:24

    Those poor alcoholic cows and roadkilled Quahogs :(
  2. Avatar

    Dhanithecat May 01 2016 @ 19:09

    Quahogs crossing signs are found in rhode island.
  3. Avatar

    Flopp May 02 2016 @ 04:10

    It is survival of the fittest after all. RIP Mr Old Quahog

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