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Why, bless you're haaaart (you're so stupid)...I

  • Why, bless you're haaaart (you're so stupid)...I just love you to deeee-ath (I loathe you)...Aren't you just the sweetest thaaang (I'd shoot you if I had a gun right here)...
  • The farmer's wife was less than impressed with her new Shetland Pony. Clip Clop was a cute little black pony with a mean streak. She made more manure than all the other horses
  • combined because poor Clip Clop had irritable bowel syndrome. The farmer's wife bought a dump truck full of Activia to feed Clip Clop, but when the yogurt was dumped it
  • reacted with the pig slop and released hydrogen cyanide across seven counties. Dannon filed for bankruptcy the next week. Clip Clop miraculously survived and became revered by
  • The masses, establishing a youtube channel with 2,304,138 views. Dannon didn't watch it because it was all about the art of sculpting from pig slop.
  • His nostrils burnt just thinking about the rancid excrement on the kitchen table. But Damon wanted props in the art world, maybe even find something more gross to sculpt something
  • like the algal goop accumulating in Uncle Russ' swimming pool.They covered Damon with algae & then he did performance art at the YMCA. But the kids thought he was a swamp monster
  • who spent all his time at the roller rink, singing that one Village People song they always play over the loudspeakers. Despite looking like a singing Swamp Thing, Damon did not
  • seem to have any problems getting dates with the skanky ladies of the roller rink, who would do practically anything for a churro from the snack bar. Damon was quite the Romeo here
  • and made no attempt to hide it. Which made it very easy for The Uncle. The saying "Bob your uncle before he bobs you" came about because of him. Damon didn't stand a chance.
Started
2013-01-16 23:05:19
Finished
2016-08-15 21:17:05

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    LordVacuity Aug 15 2016 @ 21:19

    In my defense, I had no idea there was another uncle in the mix.
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Aug 16 2016 @ 03:27

    Uncle Russ is not to be outdunked.

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