After sitting on the bench, joe finally decided

After sitting on the bench, joe finally decided to get up and walk on the walkway. After doing this, and interesting thought popped into his head, so he stopped and pndered...
The thought hadn't fully materialized. He stopped chewing his gum to concentrate better. He took it out and looked at it. It was shaped like a brain and was thinking his thoughts!
Now the intellectual ABC gum longed to experience emotions as well (in addition to meta-emotions). "Chew me into a heart," said the gum. But Billy just blew a bubble and tossed it
into an orgy, figuring that it would find love there. But it just made the situation sticky, which angered 93% of the participants. The gum experienced its first emotion: guilt.
The first stick of self-aware gum left the orgy stuck to the bottom of some "massage" oil. It was filled with the strange sensation of self-loathing. The massage oil was left on to
boil, and soon the vacuous Mormon wives were being stewed into a congealed, searing death. The worst part of all was that they were fusing to the pan due to a lack of PAM, the new
religious craze. The minister arrived to late. Fortunately, he had bought several cheese-and-cracker snack packs at the convenience store while charging his electric
coffee mug. The minutes turned to hours and the hours to days. A backpack full of cheese and crackers later he just had to take a sip. He put his mouth to the mug. ZAP! Why
did it just disappear out of his hand?! Where did that mug go? After pondering for about an hour, he started to have a caffeine withdrawal and went and bought a Red Bull. The mug
vanished again, but he felt caffeine flow in his veins and plastic shards stuck in his teeth. Then withdrawal hit anew, urging him on and driving his head into the coffee dispenser

Started: 2011-08-11 13:57:44
Finished: 2015-10-16 08:51:14

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