27

His mom wore a mumu and smoked GPC menthols

  • His mom wore a mumu and smoked GPC menthols while drinking huge amounts of foamy instant ice tea. It was
  • irresistible. She'd get the cutest little iced tea foam mustache on her actual mustache and l liked to lick it off in between gulps. My friend never forgave me after his mom and I
  • got in to a buttermilk chugging contest. Milk mustache soaking our real mustache's we laughed till we crapped our pants. After rinsing them out we exchanged undies laughed till we
  • cried. Weeping openly, our tears of joy soon washed the milk out of our facial hair. Never had a buttermilk contest produced such emotion! Soon our tears gave way to a sense of
  • licking, as cows slowly stamped their way from the ranching building, attracted by the buttermilk streaming down our faces. You ever seen a cow's tongue? It's friggin' huge. We
  • were laughing and remembering how our mother used to tell us you act like you were raised in a "ranching building"! We began to quiet down when we heard the first of the cows
  • partake in a chorus of lowing moos to Handel's Messiah. We thought they were a little "pitchy" tonight and decided they needed more roughage in their oats. Classically bred,
  • these cows would soon have the timber needed to debut my avant guard piece "Animal Farm" for 4 cows, 2 goats and a sow at the Met. The audience got a whiff of my orchestra and
  • as if we were at the 19th century,proceded to throw bad tomatoes and eggs at the cows who felling hurt by such vile act,returned the ofense by targeting the audience with fresh
  • salvos from the bovine artillery that had suddenly shown up to offer much needed tactical support to the beleaguered cows. Tomatoes and eggs were no match for modern shells but

4 Comments

  1. mensaque Oct 22 2012 @ 13:33

    If only we had a way to wipe that "but"...then the story would have a proper finish!

  2. MoralEnd Oct 22 2012 @ 16:37

    We have to live with the "buts" we get.

  3. SlimWhitman Oct 22 2012 @ 16:52

    In this case bovine artillery butts launching salvo after salvo of classical bs. :-) I would be remise not to mention this old yarn: http://foldingstory.com/xu19b/

  4. SlimWhitman Oct 22 2012 @ 16:54

    By the way... I think returned to the starting theme "His mom was a mumu..."

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!