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His mom wore a mumu and smoked GPC menthols

  • His mom wore a mumu and smoked GPC menthols while drinking huge amounts of foamy instant ice tea. It was
  • irresistible. She'd get the cutest little iced tea foam mustache on her actual mustache and l liked to lick it off in between gulps. My friend never forgave me after his mom and I
  • got in to a buttermilk chugging contest. Milk mustache soaking our real mustache's we laughed till we crapped our pants. After rinsing them out we exchanged undies laughed till we
  • cried. Weeping openly, our tears of joy soon washed the milk out of our facial hair. Never had a buttermilk contest produced such emotion! Soon our tears gave way to a sense of
  • licking, as cows slowly stamped their way from the ranching building, attracted by the buttermilk streaming down our faces. You ever seen a cow's tongue? It's friggin' huge. We
  • were laughing and remembering how our mother used to tell us you act like you were raised in a "ranching building"! We began to quiet down when we heard the first of the cows
  • partake in a chorus of lowing moos to Handel's Messiah. We thought they were a little "pitchy" tonight and decided they needed more roughage in their oats. Classically bred,
  • these cows would soon have the timber needed to debut my avant guard piece "Animal Farm" for 4 cows, 2 goats and a sow at the Met. The audience got a whiff of my orchestra and
  • as if we were at the 19th century,proceded to throw bad tomatoes and eggs at the cows who felling hurt by such vile act,returned the ofense by targeting the audience with fresh
  • salvos from the bovine artillery that had suddenly shown up to offer much needed tactical support to the beleaguered cows. Tomatoes and eggs were no match for modern shells but
Started
2011-05-31 18:14:17
Finished
2012-10-22 11:12:16

4 Comments

  1. Avatar

    mensaque Oct 22 2012 @ 13:33

    If only we had a way to wipe that "but"...then the story would have a proper finish!
  2. Avatar

    MoralEnd Oct 22 2012 @ 16:37

    We have to live with the "buts" we get.
  3. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Oct 22 2012 @ 16:52

    In this case bovine artillery butts launching salvo after salvo of classical bs. :-) I would be remise not to mention this old yarn: http://foldingstory.com/xu19b/
  4. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Oct 22 2012 @ 16:54

    By the way... I think returned to the starting theme "His mom was a mumu..."

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