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Sometimes it's just too easy. Like retrieving

  • Sometimes it's just too easy. Like retrieving sugar-infused confections from a miniature fledgling human. All you have to do is spend 8 hours a day for 5 days a week for 30 years
  • taking their candy away from them. But once they turn 31, there is NO WAY. Goes something like this: "Robert, give me that Hershey bar this minute!" "NO! F*** you, Dad! It's mine!"
  • The babies eventually banded together to stop people from taking candy away from them. It might be easy to take candy away from one baby, but how about an army WITH MACHINE GUNS!!!
  • It was this gang culture which enamored and eventually corrupted Eva Littleton, a chubby cheeked blonde with thunder thighs. She was only 18 months old. Now, at the wizened age of
  • fifteen years old, she would wield a switchblade like it was the most powerful weapon in the world. Her sweet exterior masked the cold, hardened heart molded by her gang family.
  • She married the first guy she met so she could get the hell out of Necklesville. His name was Jim. Everyone called him "Sweetie." She had switchblades and he had a license to
  • kill. Kill? More like "license to charm the hell out of everyone he meets." Seriously, she couldn't see how Jim could ever kill anyone. But then again, looks can be deceiving...
  • Anyway she let nature take its course with the charming Jim until a couple of years later she was digging in the garden of their dream home when she unearthed a pink glittery belt.
  • "What is this?!" She shoved the pink belt in Jim's gorgeous face like an actor on a cop show. "Who've you been shtuping in our garden?" "It's not like that!" Jim said "That belt is
  • for you. I thought you could use a good belt," Jim chortled. "You know I'd never stoop so low as to shtup anyone but you in our garden." Now in the kitchen, that's another story.
Started
2013-04-26 15:05:23
Finished
2014-04-19 19:20:00

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    49erFaithful Apr 22 2014 @ 12:48

    Is this the kitchen story, you're referring to foldmeonce? http://foldingstory.com/yu4rr/bh7wrs/
  2. Avatar

    foldmeonce Apr 23 2014 @ 23:51

    Haha 49erFaithful! I hadn't seen that one before, but thanks for pointing it out! ;)
  3. Avatar

    49erFaithful Apr 24 2014 @ 00:14

    Lol. So many kitchen stories to choose from...

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