Tharg fletched his teeth & gnawed on a pterodactyl

  • Tharg fletched his teeth & gnawed on a pterodactyl bone seductively then conked Loana on the head with his club & dragged her to his cave. Zorg had advised Tharg that the G-spot
  • would only reveal its mysteries via an elaborate ceremony involving proto-wombat sacrifice. Tharg ogled Loana busting out of her smilodon furs. Then she regained consciousness and
  • bashed Tharg's head with a rock, she had no idea she was to be the next sacrifice, due to the ceremonial narcotics used to sedate the victums. Although due to the compound scarcity
  • they hadn't used quite enough. They also didn't know that she regularly got zonked on Jimson tea so she had a high tolerance. Once free, Tharg's wife grabbed a club and loped off
  • . When Tharg found his wife missing he howled in rage, "Blarg! Blast it, we have to get her back before she gets any ideas!" The others gasped in horror and sent out a search party
  • to look for Tharg's wife. Tharg paced along the balcony looking sorry for himself before two minutes later, when the search party returned. "We found her, now what should we do?"
  • "That was too fast." Tharg said. "You need to let her run more for added suspense." Baffled, the guards let his wife go and she ran back into the woods. "Well? GO GET HER!" Tharg
  • boomed. For added suspense the guards elongated the chase by running into the woods below full potential speed. In her high heels and dress, Tharg's wife didn't get far. The guards
  • tackled her under a pine tree, where she ultimately surrendered. "But do NOT touch my shoes, you big oafs!" Tharg's wife sniffled. The guards chained her to a tree & continued
  • to gently fondle her pair of expensive loafers right in front of her. It was more than the poor waif would handle and after two hours of nonstop shoe fondling, her heart gave out.


  1. Krammy Jun 10 2015 @ 17:33

    Well, this story didn't turn out to be kid-friendly.

  2. SlimWhitman Jun 11 2015 @ 03:42

    Loafer fondlling is only for adults.

  3. foldmeonce Jun 12 2015 @ 11:40

    She should have given them the boot.

  4. Scribbly Jun 15 2015 @ 17:36

    This was great. This is the first story I've been involved with where the main characters were present throughout. Also, Tharg is an awesome name.

  5. SlimWhitman Jun 16 2015 @ 06:52

    I was modeling "Tharg" on Caveman names in Farside misremembering "Thag" I guess. Funny thing - there is a character named "Tharg the Mighty" who is editor of a Science Fiction comic. Zarjaz!

  6. Chaz Jun 25 2015 @ 20:54

    Meet a loafer but don't let your meat loaf.

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