There once was a man named Johnny the Homicidal

  • There once was a man named Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. He was shot in the head on accident after attempting suicide with the same gun. He was resurrected and then he
  • tried to hang himself by a hook from the ceiling. The hook wasn't designed to hold his weight, so he crashed on the floor. He was still alive, of course. The next thing he tried
  • was blowing on it. That's what his dad always did. Maybe there was some invisible dirt interfering with some connections? Nope, the rope still didn't work, perhaps suicide by some
  • One who was depressed and felt like something the cat dragged in. Topper looked around and found some clothesline that would be just as good. Slim was pleased they could wrap up.
  • As Topper wound the clothesline in figure-eights around his elbow & forearm he laughed at a memory. "What?" asked Slim. Topper replied, 'member Nolan Ryan clotheslining that guy...
  • and then he just stopped and finished rolling his figure-eights. Slim couldn't remember the Nolar Ryan clotheslining incident that Topper had asked about. Then Slim noticed the pat
  • -ter-pitter of raindrops on the old tin roof and wondered if Topper and the other ghosts got wet if they went outside in the rain. I waited behind the door and as Topper passed, I
  • reached out and tried to feel moisture in his aura. Dry as a bone. I guess that makes sense. Of course, Topper didn't notice me -- none of the ghosts did. I was beginning to think
  • this bar was dull, until the ghost of a child addressed me in a murmur: "I see live people. They think they're dead." It took me days to process, but then I realized: he meant ME!
  • I was so giddy with excitement about the news of still being alive I ran out into th street, forgetting the carnival was on. I was squashed dead by elephants, carts and brass bands


  1. Woab Jun 28 2019 @ 15:05

    What kind of parents name their child "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac", anyway?

  2. StigMartyr Jun 28 2019 @ 15:09

    Hippies with a sense of irony? Or people with very high hopes for their children

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!