I couldn't believe it's simplicity. How'd

I couldn't believe it's simplicity. How'd they manage to get it so small? I kept asking myself over and over again "What if I just take it?" I saw the security guard, he was

surfing on his phone. I admired the small silver pin with a host of golden angels on it. I palmed it .The guard was oblivious, but a sharp pain reminded me "Thou shalt not steal"

God's voice shook me to the core. I collapsed. The silver pin scattered across the floor. The guard came over and said, "Buddy, you alright?" The guard's eyes glowed red, the smell

of booze. I've heard my calling. I picked up the silver pin and proceeded to complete my holy mission as I stabbed Satan in balls. Once, twice. His eyes rolled back and his tongue

gently carresed my face. Satan's eyes focuses on to mine and his tongue continued to explore my body. I took the pin out of his private area. Satan smirked seductively. "You fool

did you think I would let you die with your people? No matter how hard you try to die with them I will always keep you alive here in hell with me. You are Satan's plaything now."

Satan ate pizza from Dante's topped with sausage, onion and mushrooms. These were not the mushrooms sprouting after the rainstorm. Those were death angels and only fools ate them

without a tasteful wine pairing- a moderately priced california cabernet sauvignon in my estimation. No Satan's pizza had cremini and hen of the woods mushrooms.

And that, my friends, is how the fires started in California wine country: It was Satan, trolling about in his Satanmobile, looking for wine to go with his fish-head pizza. It was

a sip of Shiraz that left him wanting more. But the winery tried to push the pinot and refused to sell him anything else. Satan spat fire at them and set their vineyards ablaze.