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I was Skyping a beautiful Italian girl I

  • I was Skyping a beautiful Italian girl I had met on some chatting website when...
  • I fell in love with her. I'd only been talking to her for about 5 minutes, but somehow I knew...she was The One. My Italian was pretty rusty. I leaned closer to my webcam & said "
  • Capezzoli di Venere, per favore." My Italian webcam love removed her bra and said, "Ci sono!" I asked her to marry me immediately. We arranged to meet at the Starbucks at Fiumicino
  • as my passion for all things Italian consumes me if I don't filter them through the irony of cheap American ripoffs. So when in Roma, I took my amore out to Starbucks and Pizza Hut
  • I cut my tongue out because I clearly have no taste.
  • But of course, now I have no taste because, clearly, my tongue has been cut out. It's a vicious cycle.
  • "Perhaps I could be of service," said a silhouette that walked through the light and became a strangely dressed pale man, "I am Professor Loomis, and I know a thing or two about
  • Why Gudrun sneezes ten times, machine gun style. She was born this way." "Thanks, ", I replied.I wsd worried about my sister sneezing to death, as 2,585 other locals had done so.
  • The frequency of her sneezes were so loud, that she channeled people 5 standard deviants away sometimes, making them come to her house in the middle of the night and place little b
  • broken tea cups all over her living room floor. It almost felt like they were living offerings, sacrifices in the form of cute, chipped cups. She found a tooth in one once.

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