Ah the cold brisk air. Had to leave the

Ah the cold brisk air. Had to leave the chaotic crowd of family talking over family. I left the front door, walked down the front walk, meandered to the main street. Nothing but

Mormons as far as the eye could see. Husbands and multiple wives chortled like drunk boaters. Then I saw a glow in the alley. There was the Angel Moroni, it was crying, it said

that I should start for the strip joint and not look back. The entire polygamist compound was going to burn and somehow me in a strip club could be holier than that. The Angel wept

crocodile tears, like a typical douchebag. Meanwhile, I brushed up on my pole work just in case the bar results came back with bad results. I was getting good, I mean really

spectacular! Anyone that saw me do my thing wouldn't believe I started this just one week prior! I was almost ready to enter a competition

I packed up and began to drive to San Francisco. There we met a lovely family with 2 year-old twin boys.

But that was at the end of the drive and we are only just beginning. Between New York and San Francisco, I experienced the road trip from hell.

Too many people in one car packed with too much Stuff, if was summer, why did we need to bring our winter coats. It' not like we get out of the car except to pee or eat. Roadtrips

who needs them and yet who can resist them? So we slung off our winter coats, slapped on some loud music and headed one last time to the

john. Hopefully this would be the end of those tacos once and for all but we'd said that the last time too...