It had been a long, tiring day. Unfortunately

  • It had been a long, tiring day. Unfortunately I lied awake in bed, unable to decide if my insomnia was due to my erection or devastating chicken-nugget farts that choked the air.
  • With some thought I applied both to produce the most auto-erotic asphyxiation I've ever experienced, I'm talking real toe-curling blue-in-the-face pleasure--then my dad walked in.
  • Luckily, my dad was blind, so he couldn't see me auto-erotic asphyxiating. But I knew that he could smell the cum. He knew that I knew it. I knew that he knew that I knew it.
  • But in an unspoken agreement we let the matter lie. That is without actually stating it, we agreed to a policy of "Don't ask, Don't tell". Hiding my chicken-choking from my Mom
  • was not nearly as hard as my dad hiding it from her. I think that's why she slept on the couch sometimes. She said the chickens don't lay eggs when they are stressed, and
  • analogously some men won't poop when stressed too. The trucker rubbed his tummy, "Damn darlin' I haven't copped a squat since Sandusky, I must be stressed, but about what?"
  • He knew why he was stressed, he just wasn't about to explain to "the guys" that this weekend he had a cup stacking championship. "Like 50% of em are adults" he would tell people
  • . His bowling league found out when they found plastic tumblers in his car. "Drinking Problem?" "Cup Stacking!" He finally blurted out. He left that day and went pro. Endorsements
  • from beer companies fueled his massive ego. The first few years, he got strike after strike, becoming a reigning champion. But then the backroom rutting with waitresses took
  • precedence, which is understandable. He eventually went pro in backroom waitress rutting and is now retired, living comfortably on the east side of Des Moines. What a country!


  1. 49erFaithful Sep 10 2011 @ 20:06

    Whoa boy. After the first fold I figured this story would be a doozy and it did not disappoint. Not for the faint of heart!

  2. SlimWhitman Sep 11 2011 @ 05:13

    laughed tears through most of it. Esp. funny how people try to rescue it and it keeps veering back to its deranged path.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!