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Dennis had never been a popular boy, due

  • Dennis had never been a popular boy, due to the fact that he couldn't talk to someone without also drawing on their face. This proved especially embarrassing when
  • The face was already drawn. One day he tried to draw a Klee head on Mr. Mumble's cheek, where Mumble himself had already drawn Rothko's Red over White. A Modern war ensured.
  • But because it was a modern war all the money to fund the war had been lost in the bottomless hole known as the housing market. Now that war was totally over I could
  • totally concentrate on my violent videogame passion.I was totally a highscore master. Then I got bored with those kind of games and switched to the problem-solving kind. Like one
  • taking a breath after being underwater, I gasped through these games. They were refreshing. They got my head working where my heart had been in charge before. Picking up the PS3
  • -to-XBOX360 converter that I had purchased online, I thought I held in my hands something truly magical. I mean, that's what the dude on Ebay said, and who can't trust a guy with
  • handle, "Buymestuf?" The electronic device was sealed in a clam shell made of Malaysian plastic. The instructions were in pidgin Korean. Ikea directions were simpler. Plugging it,
  • I decided, would be rather difficult, seeing as there was no practical use for a calculator-sponge trapped in a plastic clamshell. But I was a marketer, and I would be damned if
  • if Bill, my coworker and arch-nemesis, came up with a better marketing strategy that me. I need a greatidea... Of course! All I have to do is
  • to kill two birds with one stone. I wrote a suggestion to my boss, for a highly embarrassing striptease act performed by Bill which should be aired on television. And it worked.

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