There was an old house in the forest...

  • There was an old house in the forest...
  • And an old witch was living there...
  • I had sense enough to not mess with any witch that they wouldn't take in the old witch home. I also wasn't about to give up a prime squatter's opportunity. I decided to harvest eye
  • goop from Gwyneth Paltrow. Her PR team were a little apprehensive at first, but the prospect of an old witch hexing them was convincing enough to push it through the mainstream.
  • "Okay, how about this approach," said Shemp, the ad writer, "Please buy this Gwyneth Paltrow face crap, or we'll be hexed by a witch!" The PR team frowned. "Too actual," they said.
  • "Maybe pull the reins back a bit on riding the Gwyneth Paltrow and ride the goofy name. Goop. Poog spelled backwards." They looked at Shemp like he was the new guy. "My Vagina!"
  • There was a pause as everyone waited for a snowflake to pipe up. “My vagina has a first name, it’s G W E N Y T H, my vagina has a last name, it’s P A L T R O W.” That’s when Gwen
  • stood up, claimed she had the airs and left the room. The next day they heard back that My Vagina was a go but absolutely no jingos for it were authorized. Oscar Meyer would sue.
  • Thinking the whole matter settled Gwenyth Paltrow went on a epicurean adventure in the Carpathian Mountains. My Vagina was selling well. Then they tried marketing My Colon for men.
  • Given the coincidence in names, they attempted to use Colonel Sanders as their mascot. Let's just say, that didn't go over well with people sensitive to chicken grease. Oh well.


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