30

He grew up in Reading, Ohio, the second of

  • He grew up in Reading, Ohio, the second of 12 children in a working-class Catholic family. His father ran a tavern where
  • the first & last sponsored Jello pudding wrestling match had taken place. The company had thought the pudding to be awarded a prize, but the chocolatey splatter masked their horror
  • as the two contestants unexpectedly took their wrestling match into the large vat of pudding. The judges mentally noted - next time, mix the pudding afterwards, not before.
  • The judges were on a lunch break from the court of appeals. This was how they got their rocks off. They didn't notice that referee was actually a clerk from the same department, so
  • he snuck back to his counter with the others never the wiser. Mr. Humpheries
  • got him into a suit and sent him to the Y. "Front of the square, then left at Derby. Get on the bus, and ride up to Ware. Weather is very suitable."
  • He arrived at the Y. His cell phone buzzed. He read the text. "i didnt say simon sez!" This LARP game was the crappiest one ever! Sighing, he walked back to
  • the bridge he lived under. He was sick of live action role playing and texting. He just wanted to go back to his normal toll-collecting life, and hang out with his doll collection.
  • Was that too much to ask? "I'm 40 now, so if I want to play with my dolls then I'll be damned if you get in my way!" He yelled at his mother. She spilled the tray of pizza pockets.
  • He felt good. He felt free from the shackles of indentured servitude. Picking up his pink backpack, he rose to his feet and headed for the door. He had finally won.

1 Comments

  1. Bad. May 28 2011 @ 04:26

    The pink backpack was a nice touch.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!