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I sat down confident. Opened to the first

  • I sat down confident. Opened to the first page. #1) If a 1,200 lb. gorilla swings forward on a 9' long vine into a jungle filled with weightless ants how many sesame seeds remain?
  • "Is it: A) The same as stars in the sky? B) Are we talking fire ants? C) Trick! Gorillas don't 'swing' D) HELP! I am writing this SAT answer against my will!" I used my #2 pencil
  • to gouge my own eyes out. The spatterings of eye-juice fell on the ScanTron in neat little circles, filling in the rest of the test entirely (albeit improbably) correctly. "What a
  • an amazing act of skill. Then I got an A+
  • I was so happy that I did aback flip. No one knew that I could do a flip, and cheered me on. In that moment, I decided to do the most daring thing I could possibly do
  • which was to turn the crowd against me with backhanded compliments: "The ratio of your taste in backflips to your intelligence level is higher than most." My words bounced off the
  • -atrically arranged performers. They were artisans of "no sound." They were mimes. I was a talker. I was the incarnation of
  • cello playing mango-sweet melodies to bring on birdsong and bespell the song-saturated sky. Since alliteration was also on the company's hit list,
  • they confiscated fold number 8. But the company underestimated the subversive elements writing the story. Resorting to the double edged irony metaphorical blade of wit and sarcasm
  • as best I could, I placed my hand under my other armpit & made a "fart" sound. It was all I could do on such short context, & I didn't wait around to see if it'd stick. Here goes!
Started
2012-05-17 20:31:12
Finished
2012-09-03 03:27:31

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Sep 03 2012 @ 05:09

    It stuck! ;-)

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