The girl at 85 High Street in Nottingham,

  • The girl at 85 High Street in Nottingham, England started one month ago to sneeze 8,000 times a day. The family doctor could not explain it, so her mum called a witch doctor friend
  • to help. The witch doctor said he had seen the sneezing proplem many times. High Street in Nottingham often called him for his services. There is only one cure. CUT OFF THE NOSE!
  • and so I had the ultimate nosejob. This totally fixed MY sneezing problem, but my nose continued to sneeze & flew out the window. "Get that nose!" screamed the witch doctor.
  • As the witch doctor scrambled out the window, I thought "What the heck", and starting running alongside him. The Witch doctor then pulled out a giant 3-foot net as my nose went
  • into places it shouldn't. I always wondered if I ought not to more mind my own business. Maybe that's how my nose got cut off to begin with.
  • I lamented the new look and feel but the nose itself had only ever lead me into trouble
  • when it lead me into a Creepy Tent full of jealous clowns who felt that my nose drew attention away from theirs and tried to sue me for indecent nostrils, but the judge had thrown
  • the case out almost instantly. Noses, after all, were protected under the Facial Protrusions Act, a fact that the clowns must have known. Regardless, my nose was now a threat
  • because I couldn't stop sneezing. Most of the clowns got away but some were sprayed with infectious germs. I covered my nose and ran away so I wouldn't spread more illness.
  • No use living as a hermit for the rest of my days, I thought, but the nearest island seemed exotic enough for a while at least.


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