Havran and the Jumping Spiders had attracted

  • Havran and the Jumping Spiders had attracted seven people to the club in Athens, GA. Havran was dispirited, but the drummer said "Great Magic can be done with small numbers" and so

  • he played the octuple bass. Havran soul-sang along, thus impregnating the few women in the Georgian club with triplets. According to math, this meant more clubbers. A music critic

  • is dead! Thanks internet and digital music!" Havran had watched music become a memory, then a joke and eventually becoming a little jingle in overpriced birthday cards. SO he

  • Started his own website to revive music, with little success. I-tunes sued Havran for libel, and won. I-tunes began to sell more than just. Invisible songs were king of the radio.

  • But when hit number one on the Invisible Songs list, Havran's secret clause in the I-tunes settlement kicked in and all the profits reverted to Havran, not to I-tunes.

  • It was what artists had to resort to to preserve their intellectual properties. iTunes then added a subclause clause in future contracts claiming their partnership was a "parody".

  • Apparently Santa Clause had a Sub-Clause that delivered gifts to all the iTunes executives that had been particularly deceiving that year. "Hoe, hoe, hoe," shouted Sub-Clause as he

  • kicked down the door, his cherry red cheeks smiling as Sub-Clause glared at the executives. "You're in for it this year boys and girls, hoe hoe hoe."

  • They cowboyed the place with extreme prejudice. They were mostly interested in sending a message that they were not to be trifled with again. The body count was just icing on the c

  • ake. The message had to be sent right away if they were to beat the other team. It was either win or die...



  1. somesuch Apr 02 2024 @ 23:34

    Is Havron and the Seven Spiders on tour?

  2. somesuch Apr 02 2024 @ 23:34

    correction: Jumping Spiders

  3. somesuch Apr 02 2024 @ 23:36

    Athens, GA gave us The B-52s and R.E.M. just to name 2.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!