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"I smell smoke," she yelped, alert eyes slashing

  • "I smell smoke," she yelped, alert eyes slashing across the expansive vista. Not a cloud stained the blueness. I glanced down at her long, yellowed fingers. "Yours?" I pointed at
  • her long, yellowed fingers. "No," she said, "but I doubt they'll be missed!" Her uproarious laughter echoed through the plains. The smoke smelled stronger now, so we decided to
  • inhale deeply then she said, "I am who you think i am and you the same. Your wrath was born here and must meet its end." I signaled "WTF???" to
  • which she drew a large broad sword. She swung haphazardly missing me by inches and hacking the settee in two. She tore off her dress revealing a chain mail bikini. "Just wait, I...
  • must examine the quality workmanship." I stood beside her, inhaling her Patchouli earthiness as I pretended to be interested in her chain mail bikini. She laughed heartily and
  • the bells lining the bikini border jingled merrily too continuing to ring after her laughter stopped. I watched the little bells mesmerized. "Shevanigans?", Red Sonja asked.
  • "What?" I asked in reply. She repeated her nonsense worse so I slapped her because I had enough. I then went to see my boyfriend, 50 Cent. Now he was what you call hot.
  • Hot as in hot flaming fruitcake, never have I seen such a lady-like big man. Behind 50 Cent's tough exterior laid a tender and effeminate soul, that begged for
  • frilly linen doilies, delicate hand-soaps, scented things of every nature, tiny nibbles of food and pastel. 50 Cent required a lot of pastel. "Look at all your different colored
  • baby figurines!" I said with a giggle. How very frilly and girly, nothing like I expected. 50 Cent then offered me some tea and crumpets. Sadly, too soon, it was time to leave.
Started
2011-07-31 01:28:52
Finished
2012-09-06 07:12:13

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Sep 06 2012 @ 13:57

    shevanigans: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shevanigans&defid=2837560 The story recovered nicely. 50 cent and tea doilies rocks.

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