My dog fiercely hunts bees, hornets, wasps,

  • My dog fiercely hunts bees, hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets. Once, she got cartoon face. What is she afraid of? Flies! When she sees a fly, she hides under the bed.
  • And under that bed, she, my dog that is, rolls over urinates all over. My dad wanted to kill her. "Why I oughta drive that dog a hundred miles away and drop her off."
  • My dad was like that. Full of threats and then give you the shirt off his back. I decided to take my dog to obedience school and show my dad how responsible I was. The first
  • thing I did was drive the 80 miles out to the obedience school only to discover that I forgot to bring the dog. On the way back I ran into a flock of sheep while playing Pokemon Go
  • and found myself prodding the screen like all hell in order to extract a Venusaur out of the thick wool of one of them. The screen splintered after a while, predictable devices
  • always do that. But from it's shards, a Venusaur hatched before my very eyes. It made a harsh sound as it yawned and blinked it's sticky eyes, but I could not resist it's flowery
  • protrusion. I placed my hand on the bright fuchsia petals, which were still sticky from egg membrane. The Venusaur looked up at me with wide, trusting eyes.
  • "Venu! Venusaur!" Her soft words ravished me with guilt. I pretended to sneeze into my hands, not having time to wipe the slimy egg on my clothes. I had to replace the eggs somehow
  • . A light bulb appeared above my head, which I smashed over the pokemons head to end its misery. Sleep well, princess, I cried, realizing I could have used it as an egg replacement
  • in my pancake recipe. I wonder what they'll taste like eggless. That's not even a word, says the squiggly red line, maybe you meant legless? I did not. Pancakes don't have legs.


  1. LordVacuity Dec 16 2018 @ 01:55

    Pesky squiggly red line.

  2. Rachel Dec 17 2018 @ 19:03

    What I wrote about my dog is true. :)

  3. SlimWhitman Dec 22 2018 @ 14:36

    I'm trying to imagine your dog getting cartoon face, a great expression, that. What trauma caused her fear of flies, I wonder? They buzz-dived a feces she was inspecting?

  4. Rachel Dec 23 2018 @ 17:46

    Haha! Cartoon face is a legitimate label for excessive swelling by some dog breeds caused by stings. My dog is a dachshund who had a lip swelled out to >>>>>>>>> here. The vet suggested some OTC Benadryl. The whole incident makes her fear of flies all the more mystifying. lol

  5. Woab Dec 24 2018 @ 11:05

    Poor little baby! Maybe she links her lips to a run-in with flies.

  6. SlimWhitman Dec 28 2018 @ 13:26

    She's sure a cute dog. Hope she has no more run-ins with stinging insects.

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