17

"This trumpet is haunted, did you know that?"

  • "This trumpet is haunted, did you know that?" Percy shoved the instrument in my face. It was tarnish and dull and smelled faintly of cigarette smoke. Percy was a fucking liar.
  • Felt like a cheap old trumpet to me. "Sure, Percy, sure." One tried to be kind. But I had held a haunted Gretsch once, and when I strummed it, distant voices answered in return. I
  • discovered that one of the voices was Chet Atkins. As I played the Gretsch, I could hear him trying to explain something. One of the words I understood was
  • "aedeagus". I never get Chet Atkins when he speaks. I didn't know what the Gretsch I played was, and we were almost in post production. My voice acting coach congratulated me on
  • overcoming my schistoglossia and said I had hardly lisped at all during my main Gretsch scenes. The director seemed pleased that women found my cleft tongue sexy. The movie
  • was scheduled for release in September but was delayed for 6 months until one of the producers recovered from colon cancer. After his death the distributors
  • of the Hobbit decided it was time to dust off Mr. Jackson's early work which would "surely be worth gold now!". Cut to Jackson's grave: A hand emerges wearing a ring of power
  • and soon after that, a multitude of hands do the same. A slender zombie man in a futuristic red suit emerges, and spins and shimmys and marches around. Could it be? Was the Hobbit
  • an anorexic moron pretending to be Santa Clause? Or was he really a she? Was she Hilly Rodman Baggins? The 4th cousin twice removed of Bilbo Baggins...soon to be married to
  • Tronald Dump, winner of the worst wig award, and rightful heir to the banderlog throne? Thankfully no, it was someone else. I would say who but I am sworn to secrecy.
Started
2011-08-01 12:04:26
Finished
2015-08-06 22:52:20

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Aug 07 2015 @ 05:09

    Tronald Dump, King of the Banderlogs. LOL

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!