Super pumped up today for Blue Ivy's 2nd

Super pumped up today for Blue Ivy's 2nd birthday party. I wasn't officially invited, but that has never stopped me before from crashing a party. Just last week I crashed
Joan Rivers' birthday party too but really, who is going to argue when the President of the United States shows up, even uninvited? I just can't take Washington anymore. I'd rather
share a shrimp sandwich with Josh from work. Wow, where did that come from? So random. Almost *too* random. Hmm, I ran up to the POTUS and yelled "Code Red! Code Red! The
shrimp sandwich seemed to be laced with something, and I'm not talking doilies, if you pick up what I'm laying down!" Josh seemed pleased with the way his plan was working out, unt
il the weird dude from IT came walking in. "Hi Mr. Josh. Is that shrimp sandwich from Gerry's? That place was once a morgue, but now a sandwich shop. Cool, huh? I know lots."
Mr. Josh stopped eating, winced at his sandwich, and set it aside. "Thanks, IT Dude. You're a real culinary superhero." IT Dude bowed with a flourish, and a prophylactic slipped
out of his bushy black hair. IT Dude shrugged. "My pockets were full," he said. Mr. Josh gasped the Gasp of a Thousand Breaths. Condoms made him terribly uncomfortable, ever since
that time in the religious seminary when Brother Fabio had persuaded him that they were the foreskin of the devil he couldn't bring himself to touch them. So it was he picked up a
chick that barely cared about him at all. What she wanted was free food and a coat every once in awhile. She'd put up with Brother Fabio's boring religious schtick in return for a
Collezione Armani broadcloth coat with gnu fur collar, gold applique trim and integral thermos flask & mobile phone pouch. Was that too much to ask?

Started: 2014-01-07 09:30:57
Finished: 2014-09-14 16:48:24

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