22

I furrowed my brow to recall what I'd forgot.

  • I furrowed my brow to recall what I'd forgot. "Oh, right. Nonsense!" And with that, I engaged the phantasmagoric thingamajig, switched on the happenstance shvipten, and rocketed
  • into the next century. This was the future. Apparently there was no zombie apocalypse or anything like that. Instead, the world had become one gigantic strip-mall with a food court
  • which spanned what had formerly been the Atlantic. It was boring, and I now regretted having chosen cryogenic suspension. Super-c travel? No. Teleportation? Ha! 7 billion Starbucks
  • Mocha latte grandes strung together made my parachute inflate properly as I jumped out of the plane over what had formerly been Europe. Where was I? Nobody knew the streets at all.
  • I knew I was at the corner of "HeyCanIBuyUACoffee" and "DangGirlUrFine" but google maps couldn't connect to the database and I could only get 3G out here. These Europeans
  • and their continental provincialisms. When I finally found a fellow traveller he explained that the problem was not with Europe but with my expectations of reality. The issues were
  • having to do with my American propensity for having everything white and shiny to be sanitized. While Europeans didn't mind dull bathroom tiles or unscoured teeth, I found myself
  • color-blind. I could only see the far extremes of the spectrum, and my weak eyesight failed to register dithering. Still, this European bathroom wasn't going to get cleaned by Euro
  • peans. In fact the bathroom would never be cleaned again after it was mobbed by a busload of tourists who’d eaten Lamb Vindaloo the day before. It immediately became a fire hazard.
  • Dave Lister sighed as he looked down the Time Portal at the future he would create if he bought this woman a curry. Rimmer grinned smugly. "What did I tell you Listy?" ]

3 Comments

  1. Woab Feb 25 2020 @ 17:47

    Tarotguy, your line made me spazmodic with giggles.

  2. TarotGuy Feb 25 2020 @ 20:18

    Woab: Mission accomplished, thanks to the lamb vindaloo I had actually consumed the night before composing my fold. The meal was good, but that vindaloo was the hottest damned restaurant food I ever wrapped my jaws around! A bucket load of plain rice, several pieces of naan, a gallon of water, and a ream of tissues to blow my nose on just couldn't stand up to that fire. And you know what? I'm ready for another round!

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