43

Dave got to his feet swaying slightly. "I

  • Dave got to his feet swaying slightly. "I hope that everyone associated with this travesty shites a Christmas tree," he proclaimed
  • Funny. Sometimes drunk people are so incredibly profound. A Christmas tree enema? Probably would help a lot of people, truth be told. In this particular situation, Dave was mad
  • that he had not thought of it himself. Dave quickly headed to the local stores in order to purchase a Christmas tree so that he might get to experience it first hand. But after he
  • bought the Christmas Tree Mr. Letterman realized he was alone. He handed the tree salesman the change and then hugged him and said, "Mr Tree Salesman, I need you."
  • The tree salesman guffawed, "You on drugs?" Mr Letterman released him and said, "Sorry, sometimes I get a little fluffy. It's not easy doing all of those top ten lists on my own!"
  • "Oh boo hoo," said the tree salesman to Letterman as he brushed the sawdust from his knees, "you're a famous millionaire and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?" Dave's eyebrows
  • furrowed into a frown. Nobody spoke to David Letterman like that. Especially not a tree salesman. David stood up. He wouldn't let the tree salesman get away with this.
  • Mr. Tree was speaking Treeish, which David couldn't understand without a translator, Mr. Branch. Treeish was a very complex language, with its own alphabet of 479 characters.
  • David desired to understand the wise tree, so he decided to learn how to speak Treeish. He found a teacher, a wise man who could speak many languages including Treeish.
  • After studying for months, he gained enough skill to speak with the foliage of the world. Returning to the wise tree, he finally heard its voice: "GET OFF MY LAWN WHIPPERSNAPPER"
Started
2013-04-01 17:02:03
Finished
2016-12-07 23:47:51

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