Etta's first husband died after falling into
- Etta's first husband died after falling into the birthing pool and getting the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.
- Her second husband died while she was giving birth to her first son. The baby came out so quickly that it ripped his head clean off. Etta had trouble marrying after that incident.
- So she turned to the world of make-believe, seeking comfort in the embrace of fluffy pink unicorns who thought her projectile childbirth was 20% cooler than her husband.
- The unicorns were right, too. Her husband's grip on all that was cool was slipping away, all on account of not appreciating her acrobatic childbearing abilities. He should've been
- good, but it's over now. It must have been good but he lost it somehow. Now her husband was playing the fool, the unicorns were embarrassed for him. So she had to leave him.
- Jerry's Berries was a new business where seasonal berries were covered in chocolate and sold in tins. There were three sizes, selected by her unicorn collaboraters. The timing was
- good because Jerry, an innocent bystander of the Chernobyl incident, had an abundance of berries growing where none had ever grown before. Jerry's Berries were radioactive!
- Jerry's berries glowed. They were best picked at night with a geiger counter. Jerry was on his way to grandmother's reactor with a fresh basket of Chernoberries when Inspector Wolf
- came back. Inspector wolf would have chewed Jerry out (literally), but he forgot his hazmat suit and was quickly incapacitated by the Chernoberries, they glowed even brighter when
- incapacitating wolves, you know. Soon they became so bright that Jerry could literally climb their rays like a ladder. Jerry climbed to the edge of the stratosphere and then leapt.
- Started
- 2013-08-27 13:45:44
- Finished
- 2016-11-07 11:07:06
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SlimWhitman Nov 08 2016 @ 07:37
into the ionosphere, Earth's neon light, which is where Elvis was hiding out.