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I was just minding my own business reading

  • I was just minding my own business reading some online letters to Playboy when I clicked on an Ad & ended up here. 'This story will end after 10 lines'? Is this some kind of kinky
  • scam? Or will my life really end in ten lines? These guys look serious, better do what they say. I wrote a 180-or-so character line and clicked "Fold & Pass", hoping to live long
  • enough to see the next line, if not the conclusion. I felt the cold barrel of the gun at my temple and a bead of sweat escaped my brow. Someone would save me, wouldn't they?
  • But why would they? I had betrayed both sides, setting them up against the other, hoping for all the spoils as each destroyed the other. Now my only hope was to
  • fix what I had started. I needed to explain myself, and fast. After all, I loved these people. The pain I caused them is too much to think about. I can only hope they will forgive
  • me for farting in church. I hoped it would be silent but it echoed throughout the church and it was chokingly smelly. Last night I ate seven deadly sinful foods which resulted in
  • the devil incarnate inhabiting my bowels. When He exited in a cloud of sulfurous gas from betwixt my tender cheeks a foghorn sounded and I passed out. The pastor screamed for every
  • Christian soul to stand firm, but none could withstand the odorous might of the Dark Lord emanating from my backside. Later that evening I awoke to find myself alone in the church
  • lying naked next the the altar, naked as the day I was born. But something...was different. Was I born again? I turned around and sniffed. Nothin.' I was...clean! I ran outside
  • to realize that the daylight was brighter, the gray of the pavement was darker, and the world had acknowledged this taboo that was public displays of affection and divine spirit.
Started
2012-09-18 17:40:49
Finished
2013-01-12 01:32:54

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    JonH2O Jan 12 2013 @ 01:35

    That was a great read.
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jan 14 2013 @ 13:29

    Probably a good thing letters to Santa are treated with strictest confidence

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