As I walked out the door, the blinding sun

  • As I walked out the door, the blinding sun caused my eyes to water as my eye lids squeezed shut to keep out the pain of the light. I stumbled over
  • my seeing eye dog. An irony of fate that the moment Jerry Falwell had faith-healed my blindness via tv broadcast I should abuse man's best friend. I just wasn't used to the suns
  • brilliant rays. As I could see now, I retrained my seeing eye dog to walk on its hind legs so it could vacuum and cook a passable omelette aux cepes. One day I smelt burnt egg from
  • the waffle iron area. "Jeffrey," I scolded my seeing eye dog, "how many times do I need to tell you?! Eggs are to be cooked on the stove!" The bipedal dog barked at me
  • , "the waffle iron is faster and the eggs get those crispy edges without burning." My seeing eye dog Alphonso replied continuing to make breakfast. "Oh, we're having company," he s
  • -aid nonchalantly, "Just the cast of '101 Dalmations: The Musical!'". "What?," I said, my eyes darting around blindly. "Relax, I've all ready put down newspapers," said the dog.
  • "And don't act all snooty when they get here, my friends don't like that." continued the dog. I felt defensive at his admonishment, what did he mean
  • "act all snooty?" I was never more than partially snooty, & it wasn't an act! I stuck my snoot in the air. "I am 10 times better than you, you lowly canine! Bow down & worship me."
  • My feline tail was the deterrent for Tank. He had taken Damnitol and Det. Manatee infiltrated the supply chain. Sea monkeys are smarter than you think. The tablets were each
  • undercover police gelcaps who had infiltrated the supply chain just before this shipment had left the Port of Nice. They busted the Sea Monkeys and Det. Manatee got credit for it.


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