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Sing through a vacuum cleaner hose and play

  • Sing through a vacuum cleaner hose and play back backwards in a steel drum while passing steam through a radiator. Mix with bridge cable vibrations and whale flatulation sped up
  • ... Enya looked doubtful. "Well, we could try it, I guess." Her CD sales were slumping. Her audiences were bored. She needed something fresh, something novel. Whale farts
  • recorded by Yanni and Friends were outselling Enya's CDs twice over...in Ireland! She could jump on the bandwagon, of course, but the real problem was in recording whale farts -
  • a challenging technique of employing hydrophones in a clandestine manner.(Whales are very private in their gas passing habits).In the conspiracy against Enya, Yanni partnered Beano
  • and Bono. It was there, in the forge of audio atrocities that Yanni, Beano and Bono worked their sordid charms. To destroy Enya they at beef and then wrote musical scales.
  • Their music was eclectic. "Explosive with a gassy new-age social awareness" stated the Rolling Stone review. Not to be outdone, Enya traveled to the Himalayas for inspiration.
  • There they found nothing. Nothing but the sound of silence. [Check's in the mail, S&G]. Enya returned home and recorded a double album with no sound at all. Critics
  • felt Enya's silent single "Waiting for the Rain" was heads above Marilyn Manson's "Dead is the Air." Both were heavily influenced by Philip Glass's "Concerto for No French Horns."
  • But none of them could top Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell's eerie performance of "Ain't no Mountain At All." The mute child had always wanted to sing, and this was his final
  • chance to sing in front of Blind and Deaf judges. He belted out Weird Al's "White and Nerdy," but no-one reacted. Dejected, he quit singing, and became a speech therapist.

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