So then the squishy man in the suit said,

  • So then the squishy man in the suit said, "The Great Communicator." They were astonished. "But he was an idiot." "There's footage of him admitting to illegal activity." Then the
  • the thought of how many bad things they must have on his "life film" came to mind. How bad had he been? What about when he stole all those bananas. And the sparklers?
  • Those poor orphans had no fruit and no fireworks. He resolved himself to immediately deliver a gross of ground bloom flowers and plantains if he could just get out of this mess.
  • Later that year, after having successfully extricated myself from the life-threatening situation, I sent a bushel of bananas to them. Too bad the orphans had never worked a day in
  • their life; this left me with no life skills whatsoever. After I sent the bananas, I hitchhiked to Portland, the only place in the world where
  • you could be on the east coast (in Maine) and on the west coast (in Oregon) while in the same city. The universe is curved onto itself, but I always thought the distances involved
  • were incomprehensibly massive... suddenly I realised what this meant: a teleportation device could be invented which transported matter by altering the curvature of the Universe!
  • Unfortunately, my first attempt made the entire Universe flat, splitting our dimension at a fault through earth, separating North and South Dakota the length of the Universe.
  • Fortunately, my second attempt at time travel re-fluffed up the universe and brought Pierre and Bismarck back together. I was unexpectedly sent to the future when most humans were
  • living on Mars.The black hole created by the Even Bigger Collider fluffed things up cosmologically,but Bismarck, Ft.Pierre & the rest of planet Earth were beyond the Event Horizon.


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