"Could you could you color my hair you know
- "Could you could you color my hair you know the center bit there something out of straw dogs?"
- Wordlessly, the barber strapped me down, grabbed my topknot and, squirting on peroxide, massaged the solution in with rusty tongs. The flame thrower sped up the seasoning process
- and that's how I became Jenna Jameson.
- But that's just the tip of my titular tale. To curb the threat of an oncoming identity crisis, I chose to enjoy my life-altering experience. I called my agent to keep her abreast
- about my new breasts. I named them Caster and Pollux after my first upheaval and broken heart. I eventually understood that they were related, the upheaval and a broken heart.
- Broken hearts never heal after an upheaval. That's what my yoga instructor would tell me while staring at my new breasts. It was then I realized I could really use a fanny lift.
- I lifted my fanny tucked my tummy and lasered the heck out of my wrinkles til I looked like a smooth swollen beet. Now the only thing my yoga instructor COULD look at was my fake b
- Ody and drink my dandelion wine. Suddenly the yellow flowers sprouted everywhere in the room. They did meditation and then greeted us.
- "Tell us, O Dandelion Overlords," we implored, "What is the meaning of this?" The dandelions shook their saffron heads and answered, "You have upset us. We need to meditate." We
- still laugh whenever we remember that story. The best part is that, after all these years, no one knows about it. We kept it a secret all along. Now that you know it, drink that.
- Started
- 2013-02-24 02:28:46
- Finished
- 2017-07-05 19:00:57
4 Comments
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jaw2ek Jul 05 2017 @ 19:38
After reading this, I could use a drink.
Rebbie Jul 05 2017 @ 19:39
Let me guess Dandelion wine? Me I prefer strawberry milk or a good Italian soda. Lol
jaw2ek Jul 05 2017 @ 19:42
Perhaps something stronger. Or maybe dandelion wine with Round Up
Rebbie Jul 06 2017 @ 17:55
Ah a whiskey jaw2ek. A nice fine malt.