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Molotov's attempts to create the perfect

  • Molotov's attempts to create the perfect strawberry daiquiri had so far proved to be disastrous. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go Slava" sighed taberneiro Stalin sadly,
  • almost feeling sorry for him. Molotov left without saying a word. And shortly after that he invented a new cocktail. It wasn't tasty, but it had other important qualities. It was
  • a fiery concoction, not to be taken lightly. It was a bomb with the locals, and some tourists tried it and got bad heartburn. Best not to smoke and drink at the same time, I guess.
  • Unless of course you are me, then smoking and drinking at the same time is absolutely necessary. What I did, was take a giant wine chalice and drill a hole in it for a cigarette, t
  • -hen I would fill the holey chalice with an entire bottle of wine, stick a cigarette in the outside of the hole and inhale deeply as I drank, blowing the smoke from my nose. This
  • way I would die ten years sooner and no longer have to listen to my mother-in-law complain about the fact that I wasn't handy enough around the house. Like she knew an allen wrench
  • From the others. Butters the cat was , with his paws, figuring put which was which and showed me the Allen wrench. He knew more than my mum about mechanical objects. My mum was
  • gifted in other ways. She could belch the alphabet backwards. If you recorded it and played it backwards you would hear directions on how to build a catamaran. Butters the cat eyed
  • Republicant built that catamaran & was doing great going around the world on it until he ran into a hurricane named Backwards Beltched Alphabet 2: The Seagull. Butters lost it all.
  • Butters was Republicant's bottle-nosed retriever dolphin. When Butters went mad the last sentient intelligence on Earth extinguished & the aliens redesigned the planet & moved in.

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