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Bob went outside for a walk, he hadn't seen

  • Bob went outside for a walk, he hadn't seen the sun in days. The bright sun forced him to squint as he walked along the sidewalk. Few cars passed by him as he explored the world.
  • Like a trembling newborn chicken, he peered at shiny objects in the morning sun as he trod unsteadily to the nearest bar. He was baffled a minute by the door but managed to stumble
  • across the swinging doors, which reminded him of the barn he used to sleep in while he was still unemployed. Once inside the tavern, he noticed a couple of drunkards heaving in a c
  • oup deville. The two drunks had eaten clam chowder and barley soup and were vomiting hot sizzling buckets of rotten bile all over the leather interior.
  • Not even the expertise of the San Fernando Valley's acclaimed detailer-in-chief, Antonio Felipe Gonzalez, could save the rotten-bile-vomit-covered leather seats on Jack Nicholson's
  • brand new Tesla. It was unusable with the stench, and he'd have to sell it at a loss. Jack Nicholson knew that without his fancy car, his wife and his girlfriend would leave him to
  • patter away in his empty pool like only Jack Nicholson can. The Oscar would not be worth losing another wife and another girlfriend. The stinky Tesla would have stay. He called the
  • Coast Guard and demanded that they clean the stench from his Tesla, seeing as how he had paid his taxes and all. "Jack Nicholson is even more crazy than we thought," Sgt. Poppy rep
  • lied, as he handed Lysol, Ivory Soap, and Dobie Pads to Ensign Parker, and Pfc Gomer Pyle. “Men,” Sgt. Poppy declared, “If Jack Nicholson wants the puke scrubbed out of his Tesla,
  • then scrub puke is what you’ll do!” Pyle spoke: “Scuse me, Sergeant,” he drawled, “but…” “But NOTHING, Pyle!” yelled Poppy. “Get to work!” Pyle wept, wishing Sgt. Carter was alive.
Started
2014-10-17 20:10:04
Finished
2020-03-29 19:44:02

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Gibber Mar 30 2020 @ 02:13

    Astounding.

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