Humpty was good in bed. Years of ridicule

  • Humpty was good in bed. Years of ridicule have clearly fueled his need to please.
  • That one time when he fell off the wall was the last straw, if only he hadn't decided to
  • play that darn Lemmings album backward. I mean, who would have guessed that hearing "all the children are happy" would
  • make vegetables taste so good? I washed it down with a few advil and spent the rest of the night baking a
  • plan, a recipe for disaster. The ingrates at the local market will never
  • give back his neodymium-infused anti-matter plasma diffuser. He didn't know what it was, but it sounded threatening so
  • he decided to call his Uncle Tony, an ex-Marine, for advice. The very first words out of Tony's mouth were
  • "Have you ever wondered how many cars we could power with our flatulence?". I proceeded to
  • eat 2 lbs of baked beans, a bowl full of cole slaw, some raw broccoli and cauliflower, just to see how far the car would
  • roll on the noxious gases of my intestines alone.


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