There's nothing wrong with being gay, sure,

There's nothing wrong with being gay, sure, but Neal Hardon took it to the extreme. The fanny pack and the roller blades were enough- the Enrique Iglesias CD was a tad overboard.
His friends started to feel like it was almost a competition for him--as though he were trying to out-gay them all.
Kids will be kids.
Prostitutes will be burned.
And those guys who hang around in shopping malls with clipboards and ask you to take surveys will be drawn and quartered.
But quartering and dividing was something the statisticians loved. What number system could possible make up for the trouble caused by
this uneven division. He dove into the data, looking at the pieces of his previously beautiful statistics. Baffled by the shattered groupings, it then occurred to him. It was God.
He published his statistical proof of the existence of God in Ecclesiastical Reports of the Holy Dioces and his work was soon covered in mainstream media.
Okay, so maybe the Bible Channel and CNN3 weren't exactly "mainstream," but his God-loving article made some serious waves when it was parodied by The Onion News Network.
And by waves we mean literally WAVES. Apparently, god was angry about this parody, and sent 3 different tsunamis to 3 major cities. With these cities gone, the world fell apart.

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